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Coming out

de richardhall, 2007-majo-29

Mesaĝoj: 10

Lingvo: English

richardhall (Montri la profilon) 2007-majo-29 10:37:32

How did people react when you first told them you were learning (or already spoke) Esperanto? Bewilderment? Derision? Pity? I 'came out' at the weekend, and some of the reactions I've had have been very strange...

Mendacapote (Montri la profilon) 2007-majo-29 12:04:57

Do you really want to motivate others about Esperanto? Play records of Radio verda or Varsovia vento for everyone to listen! I’ve been doing that lately (without warnings and explanations) and surprisingly most of my friends (two of them quite brickheaded) say it sounds nice and appealing.

If someone has already heard the way Esperanto sounds, it’s a lot easier for them to positively react to the fact that it was “artificially created” than if you try to explain how wonderfully it works.

Don’t talk about Esperanto, let Esperanto talk about itself!

white knight (Montri la profilon) 2007-majo-29 12:15:32

Hallo Richard, I just want to say that I very like what you wrote.

Best wishes, Manfred

mnlg (Montri la profilon) 2007-majo-29 12:51:40

Usually I take some time before saying that I am a speaker of Esperanto. If my audience shows some interest in languages I talk about the problem of languages disappearing and of cultural imperialism/imposition, inequality, discrimination, distinctions between languages and dialects, etc. I try to find some place in their mind to doubt the correctness of the current situation, to give them something to worry about, or better said, a broader awareness; then I discuss possible solutions, trying to avoid the word Esperanto. When I do mention it I offer my direct experience that it seems to work; but if any other project comes along, I will be interested in it as well (I am studying Lojban).

I think it's best to keep it low, to avoid at all costs to make a big deal out of it. The more you try to apply your enthusiasm, the more you risk being seen as a fanatic, and therefore being subject to mockery or dismissal. I offer examples, comparisons, both as a speaker and as an instructor. I think Esperanto is a great tool and it gives far more than it asks, but saying that is just not enough; I prefer to give a proof first, and the general principle later.

If it is a chat or an otherwise digital environment I offer links to resources, like the Prague Manifesto, the Esperanto Flame-War FAQ, and perhaps a few others. Also I often cite the fact that the fiercest detractors of Esperanto are usually those who know it the least.

Don't take this the wrong way, but I don't really like your "coming out"; it seems you are ashamed of your passion or you have to justify it to make it more palatable. I don't really see the need for that. I would have perhaps just added a line to my profile, "Mi parolas esperanton" or something like that, and if and only if someone inquired I would give further details, with perfect neutrality, neither proud nor ashamed. After all it's something that I have studied and that I can now use; it's useful, albeit not vital, knowledge. In your post, it seems like the Congregation of Evil Esperantists has instilled a dark secret inside of you and you just couldn't take it anymore ridulo.gif

richardhall (Montri la profilon) 2007-majo-29 13:11:25

mnlg:In your post, it seems like the Congregation of Evil Esperantists has instilled a dark secret inside of you and you just couldn't take it anymore ridulo.gif
That's the truth, isn't it? rido.gif
Seriously, I take your point. I think I over-anticipated some adverse reactions and wrote with them in mind. But Pentecost, with its reversal of the Babel myth, seemed to demand that I say something about Esperanto.

My only experience of giving someone some E-o to listen to 'unawares' came from my daughter who announced: Dad! There's a wierd song coming out of your computer!
Back to the drawing board with that one, I think...

erinja (Montri la profilon) 2007-majo-29 20:22:21

This is interesting. I understand mnlg's point about not wanting E-o to sound like something to be ashamed of, but use of the term "coming out" resonated with me as being somehow fitting.

I have mixed feelings about telling people I speak Esperanto, personally. Like mnlg, I try to stay low-key about it but don't hide it. It tends to come up naturally, eventually, usually in the context of trips I've taken ("Oh, who did you stay with and how did you meet them?") or my general interests ("I like learning languages" - "Oh, which ones?").

At the same time - I am normally subject to a little joking when I tell people that I speak Esperanto, and tell them what it is. It's something that I accept, and I don't really care that much, but it does bother me a little. The reaction usually ranges between "that's so funny" and "that's cool". It's been a while since I've gotten a totally negative or derisive reaction. People usually want to know why I learned - I usually keep that simple too. "It's a way to meet cool people from all over the world, and visit some neat places". Americans are not very attuned to the idea of language inequality, and are not very inclined to learn foreign languages. I explain the concept of "meeting someone halfway" on a language, and that usually makes sense to whoever I'm talking to. Most of them done a couple years of long-forgotten high school Spanish or French, and can understand that it's hard to express yourself in a foreign language. I give a 1-2 sentence explanation of where it came from. I try not to sound too religious about it ("If everyone speaks Esperanto, we'll have worldwide peace and harmony and we'll all join together and sing 'Kumbaya'!")

It's a little frustrating because even after being totally low-key, very matter-of-fact about the benefits I've gotten from it ("Yep I've met some close friends and visited some foreign countries, guided by a local person who spoke the language and knew all of the sights") - even after that, a few people still seem to have this dumb urge to laugh and think it's funny.

So Esperanto is definitely something I'm pleased I've become involved with, and there is a sense of pride in having mastered a foreign language - Esperanto being the only one, out of those I have studied, that I can really say I have "mastered" in any sense. It seems a shame that I feel I have to carefully word things, when I tell someone I speak Esperanto. I know this would not be the case if I spoke Spanish or French. I guess that's why it feels a little like "coming out" to me, too, even though it is nothing to be ashamed of. Although - thinking about it - being gay is also nothing to be ashamed of, and is also not an evil cult, but we call that "coming out", because the reactions of other people can be negative. I wonder if "coming out" has more to do with potential negative reactions, than about the quality of the thing that you're "coming out" as.

(BTW - I have gotten the "weird song coming out of your computer" comment before, but it was my dad, and it was Swiss German. Funny how people react to stuff they don't recognize!)

katydid (Montri la profilon) 2007-junio-03 19:36:36

Well, a teacher of mine once caught me reading an Esperanto book, and he didn't say much, just, "Esperanto?" and started laughing at me. I tried to explain, and he walked away sill laughing.

So that was the first reaction to Esperanto I ever got, which has made me less enthusiastic to share it with people. I talk about it with two of my closest friends, and they don't seem to think it's silly. I tell them, "You should learn!" and they don't brush it off; one thinks it's interesting, but she prefers French, and the other likes it because it reminds her of Spanish, her native language.

People have seen me reading the Eo Wiki at school, and surprised they say, "You can read that?!" And they ask what language it is, and where it's from (If I don't feel like explaining, I say it's from Poland). But I do sometimes explain it, and I try to keep from making fun of myself for knowing it, but I doubt most of the people I know would want to really learn anything about Eo.

Like what erinja said about calling it "coming out"--I think it's a fitting term as well. Even if you shouldn't feel ashamed of it, some people are still going to give bad reactions and try to make you feel ashamed.

pianopimp27 (Montri la profilon) 2007-junio-03 20:17:13

I've never really had to "come out" about speaking Esperanto. I told everyone I knew that I decided to learn it in the beginning because I was so excited and that was less than a year ago, so I haven't met that many people to shock. They were almost all of the same opinion: "2 million people isn't that many people" when I respond to "but why would learn a language no one speaks?" They say my time would be better spent learning a language that "people actually speak." What I find funny that most of these people aren't learning another language, so who are they to say that two million is too small of a number? I also got what happened to katydid from whoever had already heard of Esperanto. They figure it's just a failed language. It really irks me that the only reason it isn't bigger is because of mentalities like theirs.

annadahlqvist (Montri la profilon) 2007-junio-03 20:29:28

haha, this was amusing to read, I just started to learn a couple of months ago, so I have not yet had the time to tell people I am learning Esperanto, it will be interesting to see what reactions I will get. But the few pnes I have told has been quite positive. One of the first, that I sent a "tel a friend"-mail to about lernu!, had actualy already started to learn Esperanto when she was 13 or something but for some reason not continued.

erinja (Montri la profilon) 2007-junio-04 18:02:52

katydid: And they ask what language it is, and where it's from (If I don't feel like explaining, I say it's from Poland). But I do sometimes explain it, and I try to keep from making fun of myself for knowing it, but I doubt most of the people I know would want to really learn anything about Eo.
I definitely identify with this. I unashamedly speak Esperanto in public. People do occasionally ask what language it is. I never volunteer the information without someone asking first. I have never been so vague as to say it was from Poland, though. Usually when asked, my answer is simply "Esperanto", spoken in a tone of voice as if they should have heard of it. I answer further questions honestly, but without a lot of detail.

I enjoy Esperanto and I get a lot out of it (and will tell this to anyone who asks me specifically) but am not really interested in constantly explaining myself, or in "evangelizing". There was a situation when I was in a whole vanload of Esperanto speakers. The driver decided to pick up a hitchhiker. We picked up the hitchhiker and continued on; I continued talking in Esperanto with the other person in the back seat, while the driver and his wife spoke to the hitchhiker. The hitchhiker didn't ask what language we were speaking. I personally would have left it at that. But the driver's wife called back to us and said (in Esperanto) "Hey, why don't you tell him what language you're speaking?" We sort of looked at each other, uhm-ed and uhh-ed and naah-ed and declined to do it, not really interested in getting into this discussion. She saw that we weren't going to do it - so she asked the hitchhiker "Hey, do you recognize what language they're speaking?", basically forcing him to ask us, and us to answer him. It wasn't something I really appreciated.

I prefer to maintain an air of normalcy around Esperanto - that is, that there is nothing unusual about walking around speaking Esperanto, nothing to be ashamed of and also nothing to brag about. Nothing different than speaking a national language. Although, as you can see by the anecdote above - some Esperanto speakers disagree with that.

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