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Translation and lyric challenge: a poem

من Miland, 21 يونيو، 2013

المشاركات: 6

لغة: English

Miland (عرض الملف الشخصي) 21 يونيو، 2013 8:40:22 م

The Blackbird (author unknown, unless someone manages to find out)

Oh what if the fowler my blackbird has taken?
The roses of dawn blossom over the sea
Awaken my blackbird, awaken, awaken
and sing to me out of my red fuchsia tree!

Oh what if the fowler my blackbird has taken?
The sun lifts his head from the lap of the sea
Awaken my blackbird, awaken, awaken
and sing to me out of my red fuchsia tree!

Oh what if the fowler my blackbird has taken?
The mountains grow white with the birds of the sea
But down in the garden forsaken, forsaken
I'll weep all the day by my red fuchsia tree!

Here's an associated lyrical challenge: I've thought that it might be possible to sing the original to the tune of "Morning has broken". At any rate, to achieve it in an E-o translation should be a challenging task.

Mustelvulpo (عرض الملف الشخصي) 21 يونيو، 2013 10:31:37 م

I don't understand the use of the word "fowler." I had to look it up. It means " a hunter of birds." Did you mean "flower?"

xdzt (عرض الملف الشخصي) 21 يونيو، 2013 10:55:33 م

Mustelvulpo:I don't understand the use of the word "fowler." I had to look it up. It means " a hunter of birds." Did you mean "flower?"
I'm pretty sure it's just a poetical sentence structure tripping you up. In a more standard form it would read: "Oh what if the fowler has taken my blackbird?"

As far as I can tell, the poem is about the sun rising, and the author not hearing his blackbird singing from the tree. He's worried that the bird hunter has gotten it.

noelekim (عرض الملف الشخصي) 22 يونيو، 2013 5:58:00 ص

Here goes.

'fuchsia tree' is 'fuksiujo' or 'fuksiarbo', so 'fuksiar(o)' - cluster of fuschias - is poetic licence.

Mian merlon ĉu prenis la birdokaptisto?
Tagiĝo rozfloras super la mar'
Vekiĝu, mia merlo, vekiĝu, vekiĝu
kaj kantu el mia ruĝfuksiar'!

Mian merlon ĉu prenis la birdokaptisto?
La suno leviĝas el la sino de l' mar'
Vekiĝu, mia merlo, vekiĝu, vekiĝu
kaj kantu el mia ruĝfuksiar'

Mian merlon ĉu prenis la birdokaptisto?
La montojn blankigas la birdoj de l' mar'
Dum en la ĝardeno mi, forlasite,
ploras sub mia ruĝfuksiar'!

Miland (عرض الملف الشخصي) 22 يونيو، 2013 2:13:36 م

noelekim:Here goes..
Nice translation, but it seems to me that to be able to sing it to the tune of "Morning has broken", it may require a little tinkering e.g.

Mian merlon ĉu prenis la birdokaptist'?
Tago rozfloras super la mar'
Vekiĝu merlo mia, vekiĝu
Kantu min el la ruĝfuksiar'!

Miland (عرض الملف الشخصي) 22 يونيو، 2013 2:19:02 م

Mustelvulpo:.. Did you mean "flower?"
No, I meant hunter.

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