I am not familiar with lap dancing but I visited the Wikipedia article on it and it seems that the point is not that the customer should touch the performer, but rather, that the performer is literally in the customer's lap, so the performer is touching the customer. You may wish to visit Wikipedia for some graphic pictures of how it works. There is no doubt that contact is taking place, though as I understand it, the clubs have rules about the nature of that contact.

lap dancing is different than normal stripping, as I understand it.