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Humpty Dumpty

از sudanglo, 29 دسامبر 2014

پست‌ها: 21

زبان: English

sudanglo (نمایش مشخصات) 29 دسامبر 2014،‏ 14:33:33

Hampti Dampti decidis
sur muro tre alta eksidi.
Sed venis falego,
mi petas ne ridi,
kaj apenaŭ li poste solidis.
Eĉ ĉiuj ĉevaloj kaj soldatoj,
de la Reĝo komandataj,
ne havis la povon, remeti la ovon.

Can you improve on this?

nornen (نمایش مشخصات) 29 دسامبر 2014،‏ 22:38:33

Maybe one could try to stay a bit closer to the original scansion (-v-v-vv-/-v-v-vv-/-vv-vv-vv-/-vv-vv-vv-):

Hámpti Dámpti, súr alta vánd'.
Hámpti Dámpti, fális jam lí.
Póvis neníu el lá soldatár'
dóni denóve la fórmon al lí.

Rhyming scheme changed from AABB to ABCB, but I am no poet lol.

Apparently Christas' interpretation in the other thread has been removed (or I just cannot find it). Hers was a very good interpretation and by far superior to ours. Mine scans but sounds like shite and yours sounds like crossbreeding a limerick with a nursery rhyme.

Haiku version:

Ovulo falis.
Ĉiuj strebis ripari.
Ĉiuj fiaskis.

Mustelvulpo (نمایش مشخصات) 30 دسامبر 2014،‏ 15:55:19

Hampti Dampti, sur muro li sidis
Li falis kaj en multajn pecojn dividis
La reĝa armeo ne havis la povon
Kolekti la pecojn kaj rekonstrui la ovon.

I'm not sure about this translation because the original rhyme purposefully avoids stating that Humpty is an egg. One thing I notice is that it's easier to construct a rhyme of this type in English because of the many one-syllable words that are available. In English, the rhyme uses strictly one-syllable words (apart from Humpty's name) until the final two words (together again). Those one-syllable words make it much easier to compose and manipulate rhyming verse.

Christa627 (نمایش مشخصات) 30 دسامبر 2014،‏ 19:39:34

nornen:Apparently Christa's interpretation in the other thread has been removed (or I just cannot find it). Hers was a very good interpretation and by far superior to ours. Mine scans but sounds like shite and yours sounds like crossbreeding a limerick with a nursery rhyme.
Yeah, it, along with quite a few other messages, was removed for "ekstertemeco" malgajo.gif. Oh well, that thread was getting a little out of hand...

The main problem with my version was that it was composed of alternating Esperanto and English lines, which is sort of cheating. For reference, I'll repeat it:
Humpti Dumpti sidis sur mur'
By a lake so peaceful and pure;
Ĉiuj ĉevaloj kaj homoj de l' reĝ'
Threw Humpty Dumpty right over the edge!
It's just a little thing that spontaneously popped into my head; not meant to be taken seriously ridulo.gif.

nornen (نمایش مشخصات) 30 دسامبر 2014،‏ 20:24:29

Mustelvulpo:Hampti Dampti, sur muro li sidis
Li falis kaj en multajn pecojn dividis
La reĝa armeo ne havis la povon
Kolekti la pecojn kaj rekonstrui la ovon.

I'm not sure about this translation because the original rhyme purposefully avoids stating that Humpty is an egg. One thing I notice is that it's easier to construct a rhyme of this type in English because of the many one-syllable words that are available. In English, the rhyme uses strictly one-syllable words (apart from Humpty's name) until the final two words (together again). Those one-syllable words make it much easier to compose and manipulate rhyming verse.
OK, it rhymes but doesn't scan at all.

Christa627 (نمایش مشخصات) 31 دسامبر 2014،‏ 19:06:55

I've been racking (more like "wracking" ) my brain about this all last night and this morning, and this is the best I've come up with so far:

Humpti Dumpti sidis sur mur'
Sed li falis - Ho kia terur'!
Kaj eĉ por reĝa ĉeval-soldatar'
Ripari lin estis ja neebla far'.

I also realized that the English word "could" can mean "povis" or "povus", so it could be that the kings horses and men never showed up at all, but if they had, they wouldn't have been able to put Humpty Dumpty together...

On my way to the above result, this came up:

Humpti Dumpti sidis sur mur'
Suferis pro subita faleg';
La reĝaj soldatoj, kurinte el tur'
Funebris pri Humpti per longa preleg'.

Which, like one of the other attempts, messes up the rhyme scheme, but it struck me as mildly amuzing.

Miland (نمایش مشخصات) 31 دسامبر 2014،‏ 21:50:48

Humpty Dumpty's name is very much a part of Anglophone culture. So here's an attempt that doesn't use the name:

S-ro Ovo sidis sur muro
Grande falis li el turo
Nek kavaliro nek doktoro
Povis fari al li riparo

nornen (نمایش مشخصات) 1 ژانویهٔ 2015،‏ 1:18:45

Miland:Humpty Dumpty's name is very much a part of Anglophone culture. So here's an attempt that doesn't use the name:

S-ro Ovo sidis sur muro
Grande falis li el turo
Nek kavaliro nek doktoro
Povis fari al li riparo
riparon

sudanglo (نمایش مشخصات) 1 ژانویهٔ 2015،‏ 12:00:39

Actually, Miland I think you will find that many of the other language translations of the Through the Looking Glass keep the name of Humpty Dumpty, but spell it differently (however in French he's le Gros Coco).

The original spur for this thread was the idea of ridiculing a certain Lernu-Forumano who was using Esperanto in an arbitrary fashion (kiel misuzas la anglan, Hampti Dampti). This version might be appropriate.

Hampti Dampti parolis sensence,
teren falis konsekvence.
Provokis li la Esperantistaron,
sed ajna ulo al Ovulo,
bonvolis fari la riparon.

But going back to the English variant:

Hampti Dampti sidis surmure,
Teren falis li, kaj dure.
Ĉiuj ĉevaloj kaj soldatoj
de la Reĝo komandataj
ne havis la povon remeti la Ovon.

Surely someone must have translated Alice's adventures into Esperanto. Anybody know how the rhyme was done?

Miland (نمایش مشخصات) 1 ژانویهٔ 2015،‏ 12:37:33

sudanglo:..many of the other language translations .. keep the name of Humpty Dumpty, but spell it differently (however in French he's le Gros Coco).
In E-o I might as well as call him Mr Egg (possibly a famous mythical banker). Also correcting for the omission of the accusative,

S-ro Ovo sidis sur muro
Grande falis li el turo
Malgraux kavaliro kaj doktoro
Ne okazis al li riparo

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