Viestejä: 12
Kieli: English
sudanglo (Näytä profiilli) 14. toukokuuta 2015 14.15.36
The night train to Jamalpur, an express in theory, had come to a standstill a minute before - the third time it had done so in half an hour. I had been trying to work out whether the man was English or Indian, but as he turned a little way towards me, I saw that he was both: a Eurasian, although it might have been better to say 'Anglo-Indian'.
'Where are we?' I asked him.
'God knows,' he said
(from Night Train to Jamalpur by Andrew Martin- slightly amended)
Tempodivalse (Näytä profiilli) 14. toukokuuta 2015 17.14.59
sudanglo:'What now?' said the man at the far end of the dark carriage corridor."Kio ĉi-foje?" diris la viro ĉe la fora fino de la malluma vagonkoridoro.
The night train to Jamalpur, an express in theory, had come to a standstill a minute before - the third time it had done so in half an hour. I had been trying to work out whether the man was English or Indian, but as he turned a little way towards me, I saw that he was both: a Eurasian, although it might have been better to say 'Anglo-Indian'.
'Where are we?' I asked him.
'God knows,' he said.
La nokta, teorie rapidira vagonaro al Jamalpuro antaŭ minuto malakceliĝis ĝis senmovo - jam la trian fojon dum duonhoro. Mi penadis decidi, ĉu la viro estas anglo, ĉu baratano, sed nun li ete turniĝis miaflanken kaj mi vidis, ke li estas ambaŭ: do eŭroaziano, aŭ eble pli trafe "anglo-baratano".
"Kie ni estas?" mi demandis lin.
"Nur Dio scias," tiu diris.
[Edited for simple mistake: flanko->fino]
NickRobinson (Näytä profiilli) 15. toukokuuta 2015 9.39.16
sudanglo:'What now?' said the man at the far end of the dark carriage corridor.I'm going to have a go at this even though my knowledge of Esperanto is very basic.
The night train to Jamalpur, an express in theory, had come to a standstill a minute before - the third time it had done so in half an hour. I had been trying to work out whether the man was English or Indian, but as he turned a little way towards me, I saw that he was both: a Eurasian, although it might have been better to say 'Anglo-Indian'.
'Where are we?' I asked him.
'God knows,' he said
(from Night Train to Jamalpur by Andrew Martin- slightly amended)
Kio okazas nun? diris la viro kiu estis for, tra la malluma vagona koridoro.
La noktovagonaro al Jamalpur, kiu estis supoze rapida, haltiĝis antaŭ unu minuto - la tria okazo ke tio okazis dum dunona horo. Mi estis provinta scii se la viro estis angla aŭ hinda, sed kiam li turnetis sin al min, mi rimarkis ke li estis ambaŭ: eŭropazia, tamen eble 'anglohinda' estus pli bona vorto.
'Kie ni lokiĝas?' mi demandis al li.
'Dio konus', li responis.
I'd be surprized if I haven't made lots of mistakes though I'm hoping to learn from them.
sudanglo (Näytä profiilli) 15. toukokuuta 2015 12.03.48
Temp, I don't know why you decided to change end of the corridor into side of the corridor.
Nick, 'whether' is 'ĉu' not 'se', here. Also 'al mi' not 'al min' ('al' already shows direction). And it would have to be 'Dio scias' not 'Dio konas'.
I assume 'dunona' instead of 'duona' and 'reponsis' instead of respondis are just typo's.
Perhaps the most difficult grammatical issue is capturing the nuance of 'I had been trying'. There is an opposition in English between that and 'I was trying'. There is also the issue of which of the three verbs in Esperanto for 'try' - peni, provi, klopodi - is appropriate here.
'Teorie' seems to be much more common in the Tekstaro than 'en teorio', though the latter is Zamenhofa.
Ekspresa trajno/vagonaro is supported in the Tekstaro, but maybe in this context just 'ekspreso' would suffice.
(I won't post my translation yet. I'll leave it for others to have a go first)
Tempodivalse (Näytä profiilli) 15. toukokuuta 2015 14.58.43
sudanglo:The actions takes place in India in the early 1920's. So Anglo-Hindo is definitely the right choice.I didn't pick up on the time setting - it would have been helpful to mention it.
Temp, I don't know why you decided to change end of the corridor into side of the corridor.A simple oversight - now edited. I intuitively represented the corridor as one-dimensional, meaning that you would orient yourself only length-wise (e.g. antaŭa/malantaŭa flankoj), not laterally - though I see the ambiguity now.
However this raises the issue of whether to use trajno or vagonaro, since trajno, now pretty much the word for a train, would not have been fully accepted at the period in which the book is set.I usually say "vagonaro" even today. Oddly, I have spoken with Esperantists who were initially confused what I meant by that compound. Is it really such an archaism?
Since the plot is set in the 1920s, does this also mean other adverbialisms like ĉi-foje, miaflanken are inappropriate?
Perhaps the most difficult grammatical issue is capturing the nuance of 'I had been trying'. There is an opposition in English between that and 'I was trying'. There is also the issue of which of the three verbs in Esperanto for 'try' - peni, provi, klopodi - is appropriate here.English speakers seem bothered that Esperanto doesn't have the precision of English tenses, and wonder how to express the same hair-splitting nuances. My reaction is that we shouldn't worry about it so much - just as we don't worry about replicating the aspectual distinction in Slavic languages. Esperanto just doesn't feature those things.
With penadis (or even simple penis), the action's ending is established by context: "sed nun li ete turniĝis", á la pluperfect. It's not necessarily a bad thing to rely on context.
noelekim (Näytä profiilli) 16. toukokuuta 2015 4.36.59
La nokta trajno al Jamalpur, teorie ekspreso, estis haltinta antaŭ unu minuto - la trian fojon en duonhoro. Mi estis provinta diveni ĉu la viro estas anglo aŭ hindo, sed kiam li sin turnetis miadirekten, mi vidis ke li estas ambaŭ: eŭraziano, kvankam eble estus pli bone diri "anglo-hindo".
"Kie ni estas?", mi demandis al li.
"Kiu scias?", li diris.
Miland (Näytä profiilli) 16. toukokuuta 2015 10.30.11
'Diable, kio okazis ĉi-foje?' ekkriis la viro ĉe la fora fino de la malluma vagona koridoro.
Minuto antaŭe, la nokta "rapidserva" vagonaro al Ĝamalpur haltis, je la tria fojo dum la pasinta duonhoro. Mi ne estis certa, ĉu la viro estas angla aŭ hinda, sed dum li turnis iomete al mi, mi vidis ke li estas ambaŭ: eŭraziano, eble pli precize "anglo-hindo".
"Kie ni estas?" mi demandis al li.
"Dio scias, " li respondis.
sudanglo (Näytä profiilli) 17. toukokuuta 2015 10.37.01
Unu minuton antaŭe, la nokta trajno al Jamalpur, en teorio ekspreso, estis denove ekhaltinta - por la tria fojo en duonhoro. Kaj ankoraŭ ĝi restis senmova.
Mi ĝis tiam ne sukcesis diveni, ĉu la viro estas anglo aŭ hindo, sed kiam li sin turnis iomete al mi, mi vidis ke li estas ia eŭraziano, kvankam eble estus pli bone diri "anglo-hindo".
"Kie ni estas?", mi lin demandis.
"Dio scias!", li respondis.
sudanglo (Näytä profiilli) 17. toukokuuta 2015 11.37.03
Nick:Mi estis provinta scii se (ĉu) la viro estis angla aŭ hinda, sed kiam li turnetis sin al min (mi), mi rimarkis ke li estis ambaŭLiterally, Nick, this means 'had been English or Indian' and 'noticed that he had been both'.
Verbs of perception follow the same rule as in reported speech- ie the tense used is considered to be relative.
Li diris, ke li estis instruisto (had been a teacher)
Li diris, ke li estas instruisto (was a teacher)
Li diris, ke li estos instruisto (would be, was going to be a teacher)
NickRobinson (Näytä profiilli) 17. toukokuuta 2015 20.30.36
I wasn't sure how best to translate 'had been trying to' - whether to use a compound tense as I did or whether the simple past would suffice, perhaps augmented with another word to two.
I also thought 'la tria okazo ke tio okazis dum duona horo' sounded a bit clumsy, but wasn't sure whether I could shorten it to 'la tria okazo dum duona horo'. I have noticed that you need to be more explicit in Eo than English - if a word like 'ke' makes sense you seem to need to include it while as 'that' can often be left out in English if the context makes the meaning clear.