Last night I found Zamenhof's translation of Hamlet on the Project Gutenberg site, and I downloaded it along with Shakespeare's original. It is interesting to read them side by side.

I have posted an excerpt of both below, and will then follow up with some thoughts and questions in the following post.

Shakespeare:

ACT I

SCENE I. Elsinore. A platform before the Castle.
Enter Francisco and Barnardo, two sentinels.

BARNARDO.
Who’s there?

FRANCISCO.
Nay, answer me. Stand and unfold yourself.

BARNARDO.
Long live the King!

FRANCISCO.
Barnardo?

BARNARDO.
He.

FRANCISCO.
You come most carefully upon your hour.

BARNARDO.
’Tis now struck twelve. Get thee to bed, Francisco.

FRANCISCO.
For this relief much thanks. ’Tis bitter cold,
And I am sick at heart.

BARNARDO.
Have you had quiet guard?

FRANCISCO.
Not a mouse stirring.

BARNARDO.
Well, good night.
If you do meet Horatio and Marcellus,
The rivals of my watch, bid them make haste.
[Enter Horatio and Marcellus.]

FRANCISCO.
I think I hear them. Stand, ho! Who is there?

HORATIO.
Friends to this ground.

MARCELLUS.
And liegemen to the Dane.

FRANCISCO.
Give you good night.

MARCELLUS.
O, farewell, honest soldier, who hath reliev’d you?

FRANCISCO.
Barnardo has my place. Give you good-night.
[Exit.]

MARCELLUS.
Holla, Barnardo!

BARNARDO.
Say, what, is Horatio there?

HORATIO.
A piece of him.

BARNARDO.
Welcome, Horatio. Welcome, good Marcellus.

MARCELLUS.
What, has this thing appear’d again tonight?

BARNARDO.
I have seen nothing.

MARCELLUS.
Horatio says ’tis but our fantasy,
And will not let belief take hold of him
Touching this dreaded sight, twice seen of us.
Therefore I have entreated him along
With us to watch the minutes of this night,
That if again this apparition come
He may approve our eyes and speak to it.

And now Zamenhof:

AKTO I

SCENO I
Teraso antaŭ la palaco. Francisko staras sur la posteno; Bernardo venas.

BERNARDO
He! Kiu?

FRANCISKO
Halt’! Respondu: kiu iras?

BERNARDO
La reĝo vivu!

FRANCISKO
Ĉu Bernardo?

BERNARDO
Jes!

FRANCISKO
Vi akurate venis al la servo!

BERNARDO
Dekdua horo sonis. Iru dormi.

FRANCISKO
Mi dankas. La malvarmo estas tranĉa,
Kaj mi min sentas nun ne tute bone.

BERNARDO
Ĉu ĉio estis orda kaj trankvila?

FRANCISKO
Eĉ mus’ ne preterkuris.

BERNARDO
Bonan nokton!
Se vidos vi Marcellon, Horacion,
Kolegojn miajn, rapidigu ilin!

FRANCISKO
Jen, ŝajnas, ili. Haltu! Kiu iras?
(Horacio kaj Marcello venas.)

HORACIO
Amikoj de la lando.

MARCELLO
Kaj de l’ reĝo.

FRANCISKO
Nu, bonan nokton!

MARCELLO
Bonan al vi dormon!
Vin kiu anstataŭas nun?

FRANCISKO
Bernardo.
Li gardas nun. Adiaŭ! (Foriras.)

MARCELLO
He! Bernardo!

BERNARDO
Ĉu Horacio?

HORACIO
Peco de li mem.

BERNARDO
Salut’ al vi, Marcello, Horacio!

HORACIO
Ĉu la apero nun denove venis?

BERNARDO
Nenion vidis mi.

MARCELLO
Jen Horacio
Parolas, ke ĝi estas nur imago,
Ne kredas li pri la fantom’ terura,
Kiun ni vidis jam la duan fojon.
Kaj tial mi lin tien ĉi invitis,
Ke li kun ni maldormu nunan nokton
Kaj, kiam la fantomo reaperos,
Li vidu kaj kun la fantom’ parolu.

My first question for everyone is this: In general, how do you feel about this translation? To me, it seems like a kind of stripped-down, basic version of the original thing. That is, it gets the idea across but some of the nuance and complexity of thought is lost.

What does everyone else think?

And here are a few specific questions:

BERNARDO
He! Kiu?

Is this a typical use of "kiu"? It seems, I don't know, incomplete. Like maybe it should say "Kiu estas tie?"

FRANCISKO
Vi akurate venis al la servo!

The translation I found for akurate is "accurately, exactly, sharp." I get the meaning of the passage, but does this word feel right to everyone else?

Also, "la servo"? Would "via servo" not be better?

BERNARDO
Dekdua horo sonis. Iru dormi.

I would think here that we're missing a "la." So it seems that it should be "La dekdua horo sonis." Anyone else feel that way?

FRANCISKO
Eĉ mus’ ne preterkuris.

The translation I found for preterkuri is "to outrun" or "outstrip." Outstrip doesn't make any sense at all, but outrun means to go faster than someone else, not to be out running round as mice would be. Is there another meaning to this word?

FRANCISKO
Jen, ŝajnas, ili.

When I look up ŝajni, it seems to mean "to appear to be," not literally to appear. Wouldn't aperi seem more appropriate here, or am I not fully understanding the verb ŝajni?

The translation appears to be in iambic pentameter, just like the original. So, word choice is more about getting the dramatic impact of saying things in the same number of syllables. This Hamlet seems to do that very well in my opinion, and may have been translated from German (not the original English).

rheotaxis:The translation appears to be in iambic pentameter, just like the original. So, word choice is more about getting the dramatic impact of saying things in the same number of syllables. This Hamlet seems to do that very well in my opinion, and may have been translated from German (not the original English).

The technical specifications of poetry are totally lost on me, so thanks for pointing that out.

And now that you mention it, I think it I do remember reading something about it being a translation from German, or at least Zamenhof leaned heavily on the German translation because his English wasn't very good. So it's (largely) a translation of a translation then.

Ironically, just the other day I was having a discussion with my dad about how much would usually be lost from the original when translating from a translation. It seems it would be like that game "telephone" where one person tells another person something, and then they tell another person, and so on. Eventually the message gets so garbled it only vaguely resembles the original thing. Perhaps you could still be very close though if you're working from an excellent translation from the original language.

The topic was brought up because, as a learning tool, I have been spending some time translating La Sankta Biblio from the Eo into English and then comparing my translation from the Eo to some of my existing English Bibles. The results are interesting.