I'm working on a fan sub of one of my favorite movies in the world, Galaxy Express 999. I used to watch it all the time when I was a kid, and I still pop it in every now and then when I'm having a bad day.

The film, which is originally in Japanese, is currently out of print, so I don't believe there are any moral issues with this.

I feel like I can handle most of the translation- the movie has this fairy tale quality to it, so the dialogue tends to be pretty simple. However, there's a monologue at the beginning of the movie that's a bit abstract. How does this sound?

ENGLISH:

Before humanity was born to this world, the stars shone in the heavens. Long after humanity is gone, the stars will continue to shine. While they live, humanity looks up to the sea of stars and considers its own destiny.

Everyone embarks on a journey, dreaming in the Sea of Stars, endlessly chasing the pictures of their dreams. While on the road, one eventually succumbs to an eternal sleep though there may be many miles yet to go.

Old lives end, new lives begin, and through it all, a train runs in an endless flow. It carries on its infinite tracks the hopes, the ambitions and youth of all humanity. And for one youth the train runs again today.

And now the whistle signals the journey beginning for that young man.

ESPERANTO:

Antaŭ homeco estis naskiĝita en ĉi tiu mondo, la steloj brilis en la ĉielo. Longtempe post homeco estas foririnta, la steloj brilados. Dum ili vivas, homeco vidas supere al la ĉielo kaj pensas pri ĝian destinon.

Ĉiuj ekas vojaĝon, sonĝanta en la Maro de Steloj, sekvanta la bildojn de iliaj sonĝoj. Dum vojaĝo, oni fine subfalas en eterna dormo, kvankam eble estas multaj mejloj restanta.

Malnovaj vivoj finas, novaj vivoj ekas, kaj tra la tuto veturas trejno en senfina fluo. Ĝi portas sur ĝia senfina fervojo la esperojn, la ambiciojn, kaj la junojn de la tuta homeco. Kaj, pro unu junulo, la trejno veturas antaŭe hodiau.

Kaj nun, la fajfilo signas ke la vojaĝo ekas pro tiu juna viro.

Thanks!!

discouke:... homeco ...

I don't like homeco (homaro would be better). Try to translate the meaning, not just English words, then you'll be more understood in Esperanto.

Antaŭ la homaro naskiĝis je tiu ĉi mondo...

geo63:
Antaŭ ol la homaro naskiĝis je tiu ĉi mondo...

(and IMO, en tiu ĉi mondo is fine)

geo63:

discouke:... homeco ...

I don't like homeco (homaro would be better). Try to translate the meaning, not just English words, then you'll be more understood in Esperanto.

Antaŭ la homaro naskiĝis je tiu ĉi mondo...

Thanks! I think homaro sounds much better.

darkweasel:Antaŭ ol la homaro naskiĝis je tiu ĉi mondo...

Ohh, that pesky "ol". Thanks!

darkweasel:

geo63:
Antaŭ ol la homaro naskiĝis je tiu ĉi mondo...

(and IMO, en tiu ĉi mondo is fine)

Antaŭ ol...
Antaŭ kiam...

I was going to write that, but you have been faster.

To be correct with the original:

... en tiun ĉi mondon.

geo63:
To be correct with the original:

... en tiun cxi mondon.

That depends on how you see the birth of humanity - was humanity born "in" this world or "into" it? IMO you can use both sentences, depending on how you see this.

darkweasel:

geo63:
To be correct with the original:

... en tiun cxi mondon.

That depends on how you see the birth of humanity - was humanity born "in" this world or "into" it? IMO you can use both sentences, depending on how you see this.

I think that a child is born into this world, not just somewhere in Africa, Asia,... in the world. So better it would be to use the accusative to indicate the motion from oblivion to existence. It is my opinion though. Yours can be different.

geo63:

darkweasel:

geo63:
To be correct with the original:

... en tiun cxi mondon.

That depends on how you see the birth of humanity - was humanity born "in" this world or "into" it? IMO you can use both sentences, depending on how you see this.

I think that a child is born into this world, not just somewhere in Africa, Asia,... in the world. So better it would be tu use the accusative to indicate the motion from oblivion to existence. It is my opinion though. Yours can be different.

I've think into is a bit closer to what they're going for.... I'll use the -n

I think "into" too - they are technically born in the ecosystem that we humans live in, which could be called the world, but at the same time, they are born from their own "world" (inside the womb, which is all they ever really know), to a brand new world (at least to them, this human-constructed world would be pretty novel).

They go from in one, barely existent world, to inside another, much more crazy and removed from reality world

geo63:

discouke:... homeco ...

I don't like homeco (homaro would be better). Try to translate the meaning, not just English words, then you'll be more understood in Esperanto.

Antaŭ la homaro naskiĝis je tiu ĉi mondo...

Could we say "Antaŭ homaro, kaj homeco, naskiĝis en tiun mondon ...."?

That's a big problem with the English - are they saying "humanity" = homaro, or are they saying the values of humanity, the idea of what makes us human and not wild beasts = homeco?

If you know what the original Japanese says that's a different story, but even then, perhaps you could make the original even better by having that distinction between humanity as a mass of creatures, and humanity as an idea of the human soul?