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Check my esperanto please

de richardhall, 2007-aŭgusto-29

Mesaĝoj: 9

Lingvo: English

richardhall (Montri la profilon) 2007-aŭgusto-29 17:48:38

I've got another blog post I'd like you to look over if you can spare the time. I'd be glad to know about any mistakes I've made.

Thanks in advance.

Miland (Montri la profilon) 2007-aŭgusto-29 18:15:14

richardhall:I've got another blog post I'd like you to look over if you can spare the time. I'd be glad to know about any mistakes I've made.

Thanks in advance.
OK, here's my penny-farthing's worth:

" estas nekvitigita "
If you meant to translate 'can't be gotten rid of' I would use 'neforgigebla'.

" la 'Draisienne', faris ligne."
If this is the name of the bike it should be 'fariĝis ligne'

" la moderna biciklo havas multaj da bonmanierecoj"
If you mean 'lots of conveniences' I suggest 'multe da oportunaĵojn'

"milionj. "

Minor typo - I'm certain you know the right word.

richardhall (Montri la profilon) 2007-aŭgusto-29 22:44:46

Miland:
" estas nekvitigita "
If you meant to translate 'can't be gotten rid of' I would use 'neforgigebla'.
It was 'outstanding' I had in mind, and of course used completely the wrong word. I've changed this to 'grandioza'

Miland:" la 'Draisienne', faris ligne."
If this is the name of the bike it should be 'fariĝis ligne'
'Draisienne' was the name given to the primitive bicycle. I was tring to say that it was made of wood. I've changed this to "estis lignaĵo"

Miland:" la moderna biciklo havas multaj da bonmanierecoj"
If you mean 'lots of conveniences' I suggest 'multe da oportunaĵojn'
I meant lots of refinements. I've changed this to 'multaj da plibonigoj'.

Miland:"milionj. "

Minor typo - I'm certain you know the right word.
Yes, but I'm still glad to have it pointed out!

Thanks for your help.

Le Hibou (Montri la profilon) 2007-aŭgusto-30 00:22:04

And a penny-farthing from me too.. (that make tuppence ha'p'ny so far doesn't it? If only I knew how to spell it!)
estis inventita je 1817 ...
"je 1817" is probably not wrong here, but I see "en 1817" a lot more often. Clearly, you can do something "IN" a particular year. JE would be more likely where in English we say "ON" a particular date, or "AT" a particular time, which is idiomatic, because "SUR" meaning "ON", is used quite literally in E-o, to mean "above and touching", if you see what I mean.
estis inventita ... per germano ...
All -it- -at- -ot- forms of the verb are followed by "DE" where in English we would use "BY". (I think this is even one of the 16 Fundamental rules of the grammar!). "PER" means "BY" in a much stricter sense, more like "by use of..". Invented by use of a German? Don't think so! okulumo.gif "estis inventita en 1817 de germano..." seems better to me.

However, MUCH better stylistically is to avoid the passive form wherever possible!. This is where the oft-maligned accusative comes into its own! I would phrase the whole sentence as:
"La biciklon inventis en 1817 germano Baron von Drais."

mnlg (Montri la profilon) 2007-aŭgusto-30 02:18:29

richardhall:
Miland:
" la moderna biciklo havas multaj da bonmanierecoj"
If you mean 'lots of conveniences' I suggest 'multe da oportunaĵojn'
I meant lots of refinements. I've changed this to 'multaj da plibonigoj'.
"multaj plibonigoj" or "multe da plibonigoj".

richardhall (Montri la profilon) 2007-aŭgusto-30 06:42:03

mnlg:"multaj plibonigoj" or "multe da plibonigoj".
Of course. Any preference between the two?

Le Hibou:However, MUCH better stylistically is to avoid the passive form wherever possible!. This is where the oft-maligned accusative comes into its own! I would phrase the whole sentence as:
"La biciklon inventis en 1817 germano Baron von Drais."
That makes sense.

Thanks for your help.

mnlg (Montri la profilon) 2007-aŭgusto-30 14:01:12

richardhall:
mnlg:"multaj plibonigoj" or "multe da plibonigoj".
Of course. Any preference between the two?
No, in my opinion they are fairly interchangeable. The former accepts the accusative, but it isn't really "better" because of that.

richardhall (Montri la profilon) 2007-aŭgusto-30 15:19:44

I did a Google search and found 5 occurrences of "multe da plibonigoj" but 6 of "multaj plibonigoj" and a further 3 of "multajn plibonigojn", so I've gone with that. Call me a democrat!

mnlg:
richardhall:
mnlg:"multaj plibonigoj" or "multe da plibonigoj".
Of course. Any preference between the two?
No, in my opinion they are fairly interchangeable. The former accepts the accusative, but it isn't really "better" because of that.

Miland (Montri la profilon) 2007-aŭgusto-30 16:06:32

Miland:
I would use 'neforgigebla'.
Sorry, I meant 'neforigebla', as doubtless you realised. Not easy avoiding typos. Outright blunders are another matter, even harder avoiding them!

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