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Greetings

by quakerdan, August 16, 2015

Messages: 152

Language: English

erinja (User's profile) August 16, 2015, 9:46:32 PM

In normal situations I do not quote private messages. In this case, though there is an expectation of privacy in private messages, people shouldn't feel that their comfort with use of ethnic slurs needs to remain private. The only part of the message that I quoted was the two-word slur that was used (plus a summary of my own words, which is fine since it is my words and I am comfortable sharing them). I think it's relevant to this discussion that someone feels comfortable publicly accusing people of oppressing them, then using ethnic slurs in private. I do not take those words to be representative of Quakers in general and I am not sure if this person really is a Quaker, after using such words.

mbalicki:As well as public shaming for using a word according to its definition, which you happen not to like.
I am not sure what you mean by this. Can you explain it, please?

Tempodivalse (User's profile) August 16, 2015, 10:51:50 PM

erinja:Super bizarre. I responded to his private message saying to please address me as "you" or else we haven't got much to talk about, and part of his response was to call me a "kike bitch". I know that Quakerism doesn't have a fixed theology but I am pretty sure a real Quaker would not speak that way.
Wow! Sounds like we are fortunate to be free of him. I got a rather angry message too, without the slurs, to the effect of "I hope you get what you deserve". (I'm expecting to win the lottery now.)

The kind of behaviour Orthohawk has exhibited is not consistent with Quakerism (or even Quaker-like beliefs) - using crude insults, and now lying about your identity, don't sit well with the Testimonies of Peace and Truth.

Vestitor (User's profile) August 16, 2015, 10:55:13 PM

Tempodivalse:I got a rather angry message too, without the slurs, to the effect of "I hope you get what you deserve". (I'm expecting to win the lottery now.)
Ha! Classic.

erinja (User's profile) August 16, 2015, 11:12:39 PM

Tempodivalse:Wow! Sounds like we are fortunate to be free of him. I got a rather angry message too, without the slurs, to the effect of "I hope you get what you deserve". (I'm expecting to win the lottery now.)
He probably doesn't know enough personal information about you to come up with an appropriate slur. It's ok. I am sure he would not have neglected to slur you if only he knew which one to use.

Oh and Orthohawk is now on Facebook saying that he is the one who called me the slur in an e-mail to his "friend". Assuming this friend exists. I have never been called a kike before. Perhaps I should mark this date on a calendar as some kind of milestone?

mbalicki (User's profile) August 16, 2015, 11:22:22 PM

Where the hell did you got the information that Orthohawk is a Quaker? O.o You seem to base many personal deductions upon this false assumption.

erinja (User's profile) August 16, 2015, 11:24:32 PM

He is not a Quaker. He is an Eastern Orthodox Christian. Due to his personal Quaker heritage, he takes on some Quaker practices as religious obligations. His alter ego, or possibly real life friend (not sure) claimed to be a Quaker.

erinja (User's profile) August 16, 2015, 11:25:13 PM

erinja:
mbalicki:As well as public shaming for using a word according to its definition, which you happen not to like.
I am not sure what you mean by this. Can you explain it, please?
mbalicki, I am still waiting for an explanation. What did you mean when you said this thing above?

mbalicki (User's profile) August 16, 2015, 11:39:55 PM

erinja:
erinja:
mbalicki:As well as public shaming for using a word according to its definition, which you happen not to like.
I am not sure what you mean by this. Can you explain it, please?
mbalicki, I am still waiting for an explanation. What did you mean when you said this thing above?
I mean notorious discussions about how non-standard he is by using the word “ci” (fundamentan kaj laŭfundamente), how much you discourage every single person on this forum to use it, endless comments about how big of an offence you're taking when he or anyone else addresses you with this word &c.

PS By “you” I mean plural “you”.

robbkvasnak (User's profile) August 16, 2015, 11:44:46 PM

I have a strong impression that mbalicki, not being a native speaker of English, is not aware of the meaning of what orthohawk wrote. I saw that in Europe. People there wear t-shirts with English expressions that even I would blush at - and I am a grown gay man and have seen a lot in my life. I won't go into detail, but many Europeans who use English as a second language do not understand how horribly vulgar some expressions are or how demeaning. I fully suppot Erinja's decision to let the group know what orthohawk wrote. Such comments are not to be made in polite conversation - and if our conversations cannot remain somewhat polite then communication breaks down completely.

Vestitor (User's profile) August 17, 2015, 12:01:08 AM

robbkvasnak:I won't go into detail, but many Europeans who use English as a second language do not understand how horribly vulgar some expressions are or how demeaning.
This is 100% true. I live in the Netherlands and the usage of many English vulgar words and expressions are thrown around - even by children, and in inappropriate situations - as if they were saying 'oh dash it!'.

The meaning is not appreciated in the same way.

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