Vestitor:

Alkanadi:
By the way, in this thread, we forgot a major group of the Esperanto community. There are many Esperantists who are polyamorous, which means they have more than one partner.

Offical sha::ing about. One of my friends declares himself 'polyamorous', he has it away with a particular woman who only recently married (can't think why) and apparently the husband knows about it (must have a cuckold fetish).
When I sat next to her at a party and got into an animated conversation - about Tintin I recall - he was hovering about and eventually came back to 'claim' her; displaying jealousy and betraying his so-called poly-amorous openness.

It's a total crock devised to give a special name to promiscuity.

That's pretty rude, man. Can we just not bash other people's orientations or how they conduct their private lives?

Moosader:That's pretty rude, man. Can we just not bash other people's orientations or how they conduct their private lives?

Yes.

I can't see why anyone would care about someone else being polyamorous, so long as it's not your spouse. If someone wants to be polyamorous and jealous, or be married and cheat - it's not really anyone else's business outside of their relationship, the people in question need to deal with it themselves and the rest of us should stay out of it. No one is forcing anyone to be polyamorous who doesn't want to be. Much like listening to country music, it's not my cup of tea but I really could not care less if other people want to do it.

I'm not trying to stop them, I'm just saying what it looks like. And that's what it looks like. I've had this discussion with self-confessed polyamorous people and it doesn't come out as much more than simple promiscuity given the title of 'amour'.

So long as it's not 'my' spouse? Okay, let's turn a blind eye unless it's our personal relationships at risk?

Why so hostile?... :confused:

(Question from someone mostly ignorant of the matter: What is the difference between polyamory and free love?)

Tempodivalse:Why so hostile?... :confused:

(Question from someone mostly ignorant of the matter: What is the difference between polyamory and free love?)

Essentially nothing, so long as we know 'free love' is a euphemism for rogering anyone you feel like rogering. Polyamory is the new euphemism.

I'm not 'hostile', just calling a spade a spade.

Vestitor:So long as it's not 'my' spouse? Okay, let's turn a blind eye unless it's our personal relationships at risk?

Not sure what you're getting at. Are you suggesting that if you became aware that someone who you met on an internet forum was having an affair, you'd track down their spouse and tell them? Unless there is a threat of actual harm to someone (like, you know the affair partner has an STD/STI), I can't see a reason to justify involving yourself in someone's personal life that you in fact know nothing about (for example - it might be a polyamorous couple in an open marriage!).

I don't know whether polyamory is the same as free love, and I really can't say I care. It seems to be a thing in some Esperanto circles in the last few years, or else it just became visible in a way it wasn't before. I can't see how it concerns me or why anyone not interested in it should bother themselves about it, it is just another in the list of things in life that other people wish to involve themselves in, that don't interest me at all.

Vestitor:

Tempodivalse:Why so hostile?... :confused:

(Question from someone mostly ignorant of the matter: What is the difference between polyamory and free love?)

Essentially nothing, so long as we know 'free love' is a euphemism for rogering anyone you feel like rogering. Polyamory is the new euphemism.

I'm not 'hostile', just calling a spade a spade.

Unless you're part of said group, I don't really think you get to talk on behalf of them.

(Even then, I wouldn't speak for all Asexuals, but I can speak generally about asexuality much better than you could.)

It doesn't affect you. Let adults make adult decisions. Stop acting so offended by other peoples' personal choices.

erinja:

Vestitor:So long as it's not 'my' spouse? Okay, let's turn a blind eye unless it's our personal relationships at risk?

Not sure what you're getting at. Are you suggesting that if you became aware that someone who you met on an internet forum was having an affair, you'd track down their spouse and tell them? Unless there is a threat of actual harm to someone (like, you know the affair partner has an STD/STI), I can't see a reason to justify involving yourself in someone's personal life that you in fact know nothing about (for example - it might be a polyamorous couple in an open marriage!).

No, I'm not saying that at all. I meant that it's easy to dismiss it as other people's business which shouldn't be meddled in, until you find your own partner involved and your relationship under threat.

erinja:I don't know whether polyamory is the same as free love, and I really can't say I care. It seems to be a thing in some Esperanto circles in the last few years, or else it just became visible in a way it wasn't before. I can't see how it concerns me or why anyone not interested in it should bother themselves about it, it is just another in the list of things in life that other people wish to involve themselves in, that don't interest me at all.

Well, I did say I wasn't interested in trying to stop them (as if that would be possible anyway). I don't see why I shouldn't be able to say something about it that runs contrary to the usual repertory of: live-and-let-live, horses-for-courses, freedom of expression mantra.

Moosader:Unless you're part of said group, I don't really think you get to talk on behalf of them.

(Even then, I wouldn't speak for all Asexuals, but I can speak generally about asexuality much better than you could.)

It doesn't affect you. Let adults make adult decisions. Stop acting so offended by other peoples' personal choices.

It seems to me that you are offended more than I am. I don't pretend to have much influence over whether such people are actually jumping into bed with each other all night and day, but I can say something about it. It's a pretty liberal sexual culture here in the Netherlands and it's not s if I don't have a lot of different kinds of sexual expression around me. I don't live in a Mennonite colony.

It's easy to just dismiss it as 'adult decisions'. This is the special pass card given to sexual behaviour (as opposed to other behaviour) which is supposed to make it immune from any analysis that isn't a trendy tolerance.

Vestitor:No, I'm not saying that at all. I meant that it's easy to dismiss it as other people's business which shouldn't be meddled in, until you find your own partner involved and your relationship under threat.

Your partner is not your property, and can make their own decisions as they see fit. If you do not approve of them wanting to be in a polyamorous relationship, you are not required to maintain a relationship with the person - you could find other monogamous partners. Still technically none of your business.

Your business is exclusively whether you, yourself, are going to participate in a polyamorous relationship (or any other kind).