Miland:One suggestion:

Lovely, lovely is your face
I've been lonely, lonely.
Will we remain strangers?
Lovely, lovely is your voice
That goes round and round in my ears
Do you still not remember?

That seems to go against the original (Chinese) form of poetry. I think lines 1, 2, 4 and 5 need to begin with repeated words.

jchthys:

ceigered:Additionally, lingering can be made to match the pace in speech with lovely and lonely by further reducing the middle 'e', so it sounds like 'ling'ring' (which is ok in English poetry).
That way they are all two syllables
'love-ly'
'lone-ly'
'ling-gring'

It’s just a matter of preference, but I’d still spell the word out in full.

Well I wasn't trying to imply that the spelling should be changed, I too think the word should be spelt out in full, but in speech it can be shortened easily

ceigered:Well I wasn't trying to imply that the spelling should be changed, I too think the word should be spelt out in full, but in speech it can be shortened easily

I do agree, I am very grateful to you!

jchthys:

Miland:One suggestion:
Lovely, lovely is your face
I've been lonely, lonely..

That seems to go against the original (Chinese) form of poetry. I think lines 1, 2.. need to begin with repeated words.

English is not Chinese, and attempting to preserve every aspect of form may result in the spirit being conveyed less effectively. But I would like to have zjboon's opinion on my attempt.