Hey everyone, my film studys coursework is a partial script of a future Europe where he continent is split into 2 parts I have a scene in Esperanto and wondered if anyone could help correct me as I was VERY new to the language when I began, also I'll include what I have so far so you can enjoy

MANEKENO

Synopsis
The film is a Sci fi action Drama and is set and filmed in Germany (Anglo Europe)
The film is set in 2200 where europe is divided into two large single countrys, Anglo Europe, the industrious Nationalist nation, and the freedom of speech unified Esperanto Eŭropa or EE. in 2114 a law was passed in Anglo-Europe banning robots free will and any such robot was to be destroyed and anyone known with supplying or using the free will software was disposed of by the government, However the EE enforce robot freedom and tensions between the two nations has never been higher. September 12th 2200 EE rebels intercepted a Weyland robot company delivery and planted an unidentifyable fully willed robot, with this they plan to show the Anglo-Europeans just how inhumane they are to turn the robots into slaves and upturn the corrupt government. This operation was called Operation Verdo stelo.

Our Protagonist Shane Ives is working late at the office when he gets a call from his neighbour telling him his cleaning robot Catalina has expired, when he purchases a new robot he is the unsuspecting owner of the Esperanto free willed robot Verdostelo. Shanes journey to turn the robot in, ends with him falling helplessly inlove with verdostelo and he colaborates with Esperanto leader Dante Phan to overthrow the oppresive Anglo European government ushering in a new age of european peace and prosperity.

Scene - Weyland delivery interception
location: Northbound of Italio (formerly Italy)
A Weyland Robot Group delivery truck is stopped by armed EE forces 100km south of the EE-Anglo-european border, the soldiers approach with caution.

Soldier 1:
IRU! IRU! IRU!
ELIR EL LA KAMIONO!
- GO GO GO, Get out of the Truck!-
(he swings open the door and points the gun at the driver)

Truck Driver:
Okay okay, don't shoot, nobody has to get hurt

Soldier 1:
Ĉu vi scias la plano?
-do you know the plan?-

soldier 2:
Jes sinjoro, la Roboto estas en pozicio.
-yes sir, the robot is in position-

Truck Driver:
I truckin' hate driving through this EE pithole

-Soldier 2 holds a gun up to his face-

Soldier 2:
Kiu la f*k faris vin diras? vin scias ke ni ne povas kompren vi?
-what the truck did you say? you think we can't understand you?-

Soldier 1:
NE NE, Delas ĝin, nin bezonas lin.
-NO NO, let him go, we need him.

(he pulls soldier 2 back and the other soldiers restrain him while the truck driver pulls off)

Soldier 1:
(talks into his walkie talkie)
Operacio Verdo stelo estis komenciĝinta
-Operation Green Star has commenced-tr

Scene: DIY shop
Shane is enquiring about a new cleaning robot
establishing shot shows him walking into the shop and approaching the desk, on his left
there is a magazine cover saying "I married an Esperantist, and the government kidnapped and deported him" as the camera moves away it focuses on a magazine saying "Esperanto Eŭropa legalises robot human marriage" then it moves over from this and meets Shane at the desk.

Karl:
Hello sir welcome to Weyland World superstore what can i do for you today?

Shane:
I was wondering how much you charge for a standard cleaning robot, nothing fancy okay? i just need the basic model.

Karl:
oh no problem sir, we just had a new shipment yesterday, although we only received 4 standard models so you are quiet lucky that you came in today sir.

Shane:
is that so?

(karl shows him a new shiney robot but shane notices a little green star above the Weyland sticker)

Shane:
whats the green star for?

Karl:
Oh these things are made by those trucking Esperantists it makes sense that they would stick their flag on one. I don't care what they call themselves i will call them Esperantists til they die, none of that Esperanto bullkit, thats their langauge not ENGLISH.

Shane:
(shane agrees sheepishly)
those esperantists, what will they do next...
You know there was a time where a Unified europe spoke over 100 languages? but that is besides the point, the green star...bwhat about the others?

Karl:
(looks up at towards a surveilence camera)
a unified europe? i never heard of that in school.
but sir i really dont have time to check every robot here, yours is one of the only standard versions we have and it is probably some factory special promotion, your guess is as good as mine, take it or leave it 500£.

(shane thinks this over for a few seconds)

Shane:
-sighs- well i do really need one of these, i guess i will take it.

(karl hands him the box and scans it into the till and takes shanes money)

Karl:
You won't regret it sir these things have a 10 year guarantee

Shane:
i should hope so, my last one lasted 4
(he exits)

Hi, I found a couple of errors and tried to correct them.

Reteos:Soldier 1:
IRU! IRU! IRU!
ELIR EL LA KAMIONO!
- GO GO GO, Get out of the Truck!-

Ek, ek, ek! Eliru la kamionon!
Ek, ek, ek! Eliru el la kamiono!

Reteos:Soldier 1:
Ĉu vi scias la plano?
-do you know the plan?-

Ĉu vi konas la planon?

Reteos:soldier 2:
Jes sinjoro, la Roboto estas en pozicio.
-yes sir, the robot is in position-

Jes sinjoro, la roboto estas preparita. (?)

Reteos:Soldier 2:
Kiu la fik faris vin diras? vin scias ke ni ne povas kompren vi?
-what the fuck did you say? you think we can't understand you?-

Fek, kion vi diras? Ĉu vi pensas ke ni ne komprenas vin?

Reteos:Soldier 1:
NE NE, Delas ĝin, nin bezonas lin.
-NO NO, let him go, we need him.

Ne, ne. Lasu lin, ni bezonas lin.

Reteos:Soldier 1:
(talks into his walkie talkie)
Operacio Verdo stelo estis komenciĝinta
-Operation Green Star has commenced-

Operacio Verda Stelo ĵus komenciĝis.

Thanks a lot Fizikisto, I started this when I first started Esperanto so I used a translator for a lot of it and I know its wrong, but instead of making more (but better) mistakes rewriting it I thought help from skilled esperantistoj would be better

I'd just put a warning at the top of this thread about the swearing in your script (coz of the kiddies who might go through here)

For "the robot is in position" I'd go with "La roboto estas metita" or for a more "slangish" variant: "La robot' 'stas metita" (The robot has been placed/The robot's been placed)

Also, a tip would be to look at the general meaning of what you are writing at times, and to translate the general meaning, rather than translating word for word. For example, "What the feck did you say" would be "Fik/Fek! Kion diras vi?!" ("General swearword, what said you?"). In Esperanto the basic past tense, both negative and positive, use just -is, not "faris (VERB)-i".

For example:
I ate. I was eating. etc = mi manĝis
I didn't eat = mi ne manĝas (I not ate )
What did I do? = Kion faris mi?

Of course, if you are replying to a question in "did" form, e.g.
"Did you eat it?"
"I DID eat it!"
You could say
"Ĉu vi manĝis ĝin?"
"Mi JA manĝis ĝin!"

Hope that helps mate!

(also, regarding the map, good work! I laughed at the east part of it - "WASTELAND" - I do that all the time - "Ok, can't be stuffed making a country here, I'm just gonna say androids took it over and turned it into a giant, literal hole"! BTW, if you want, you could always do some form of "Eastern Coalition" or something like that, similar to the Russian speaking P.A.C. in Battlefield 2142. After all, Eastern europe has very fertile land, it'd be odd for it to suddenly turn to waste land. Or you could say that it's "barbarian" e.g. belonging to older nations rather than massive superpowers, or who knows. But I'll shutup now )

Can you tell when Great Britain will invade, such that you get prepared in France

Please edit your message and remove the swear words, because small kids could be reading it. No kidding.

Post has been edited, now it looks like its heavily influenced by trucking, kinda changes the context but i guess you all know what it means

Ceigered, i like the idea about the Barbarians but i decided to go the fallout 3 direction and say that america and russia had a nuclear war that left both the subcontinents iradiated and lifeless, which is why Europe became the continental world power in the future, and why the emphasis on the merging of languages and territories, i could tweek this if need be but thats what i was going for, just to clarify

thanks for the language tips too, ive only been learning for just over a week haha

I really love this kind SF stories Keep Calm and Carry On~!

fizikisto:Jes sinjoro

I suggest "Jes'estro" to imitate a quick "yessir".

And one more point, actually the name of operation will be more properly written as "Verda Stelo" or "Verdo-Stelo" or "Verdostelo" but in Esperanto a noun ("Verdo") could not serve as an adjective.

Here are some words that could use a better translation:

Esperanto Eŭropa -> Esperanta Eŭropo
Hispanlando -> Hispanujo/Hispanio
Italio -> Italujo/Italio
Grekiosudo -> Sudgrekujo/Sudgrekio
(make a consistent choice of one of them)

Verdo Stelo -> Verda Stelo
Verdostelo -> Verdastelo